I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
