dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
