I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Are we still banned from the library?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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