chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
