butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize