On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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