I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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