its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
