i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
