i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
