We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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