Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
