All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
