She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I know her cup size but not her name....
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