I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
