she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
