see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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