So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
This toilet bowl is my home.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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