Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
