If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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