You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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