This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
nutella sex= disaster
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize