i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
