friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
