i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
