That's when you crack a 10am beer
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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