she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
it hurts more in the daytime
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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