Define "chronic" masturbator.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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