Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
