just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
