i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
