Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize