Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
