Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize