dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
