Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
That accounts for only three of the penises
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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