im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I love you. Go after that dick
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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