Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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