Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
