i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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