opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
