I showed him my bush... on skype.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
