last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
