I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
