Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize