Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
