btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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