Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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