is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
