and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
