I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
