if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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