why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
