ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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