I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize