I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
